I am ...

I've had this idea for a poem/essay that briefly and concisely captures the essence of me. So happy 40th birthday to me. This is who I am.

I am the first born.
I am shy.
I am the kid at school that never said anything.
I am the kid at school that the teachers always said "was a joy to have in class" because I never said anything.
I am a "schoolie".
I am a rebelious teenager trying to ditch the "schoolie" image.
I am best friends with the boys (but not in that way).
I am a Catholic high school student … and not Catholic.
I am nobody's steady girlfriend for more than 2 weeks.
I am an honor roll student.
I am breifly a sorority girl.
I am Bob's wife.
I am a Structural Engineer.
I am a CFO.
I am Colin's mother.
I am Nathan's mother.
I am a marathoner.
I am an Aries.
I am stubborn.
I am determined.

Pregnancy vs. marathon training

Okay, another non-kid related post. I guess it's got indirect kid references, but it's all about me me me me. As I eluded to in some previous posts, I'm training for the ING marathon at the end of March. It's a personal goal that I've had for a long time. I started training last October with only being able to run 5 miles. In November I signed up for bootcamp which I've been doing pretty much since then as my cross training.

Bootcamp really emphasizes on eating well, like eating 6 smaller meals, lots of protein, never eating a carb without a protein. Stuff like that. So this starts to remind Bob of when I was pregnant and watching my nutrition very closely.

Bootcamp also advocates no alcohol. So I try to limit the amount I consume, well sometimes I try, sometimes not. My thing is that I gave up alcohol entirely for 18 months when I was pregnant with Colin and Nathan. I can do it, but I not giving it up entirely again. However, I can really tell when I haven't been good because my workouts will be really difficult. So I might give it up entirely for the last month before the marathon. Well, not entirely but really limit the amount. God that sounds so wishy-washy, I hate it when I sound like that!

Now as my long runs are getting longer, I'm experiencing some abdominal cramping. When I was in high school and college, I had real bad cramps during "that time of the month". Those cramps were a lot like labor pains. And the cramps I'm currently experiencing are like both. Then last week, I ran 18 miles (woo hoo), afterward I had severe abdominal cramps just like labor. This makes me a little nervous. The next long run (and last one before the race) is 20 miles. Really going to try and take care of myself, eat right, drink lots of water, and pray for no cramps -- at least not as bad as last time. So pretty much do like I did when I was pregnant minus the waddling.

Wow -- 100 posts!

I've actually manage to keep up with this blog and reach the 100 mark! And I have Sheila to thank for this, unfortunately she had to delete her blog as a result of potentional legal actions. Aren't ex-husbands just the greatest -- NOT!

So here's to my blog about the boys and an occassional blurb about me and my thoughts.

Boys weekend

Bob has resumed the "boys weekend", where he takes Colin and Nathan on trips and lets me stay home and do whatever I want to do. Kinda nice little break for me and a chance for him to do something special with the kids.

Previous trips have been car trips to places like Savannah and Chattanooga. This time he decided to fly somewhere with them. So he checked out the inexpensive fares, and San Antonio was the place he wanted to go.

They visited the San Antonio Zoo, the botanical gardens, the river walk (where they went on a boat ride!), and the Children's Museum. It was also 95 degrees outside so very exhausting for them, but everyone had a good time.

Meanwhile I was at home with plans of doing some major cleaning (only minor cleaning happened), scrapbooking and just relaxing as much as possible, which means major napping!

It was very strange though, and reminded me of what it was like before kids. You know how time just has a way of creeping up and you and before you know it, the whole day is gone and you haven't showered or eaten anything. With the kids around, there is a schedule and a focus for the day's events. I missed that. I've been idealizing the time before kids and all the things that Bob and I could do without having to worry about babysitters. But the reality is that kids force us to schedule and commit to activities, and in some respects I think we might be doing more than before kids. Sounds crazy, huh!

So I was very grateful for the weekend to myself and will look forward to the next "Boys Weekend". But I'm also very grateful for the reminder about how much the kids add to my quality of life.

Colin's favorite color

At first Colin's favorite color was pink -- specifically dark pink. Well, I'm not one to say "pink is a girl's color, not a boy's color", so dark pink it was. Actually, at a Mom's Night Out, I found out that almost all the boys' favorite colors were pink. So it's not like Colin is alone.

Anyway, the other day Colin informed us that his favorite color is now blue. I asked why and he said something about the babysitter suggesting a new favorite color. I can't remember exactly what Colin said, but definitely got the impression that the babysitter didn't think his favorite color should be pink. I guess if the babysitter didn't say it then eventually someone at school would've.

Along the lines of gender discussions, much like my take on telling Colin what color is a girl's color and boy's color, I really try to leave gender out of all discussions, like when he wants to wear my makeup or shave his legs or put toe nail polish on. So a couple of weeks ago I was totally unprepared when Colin told me that he wanted to have a baby when he grew up. I told him that only girls can have babies, he looked a little disappointed but he didn't pursue the topic further. I feel like I missed the boat on something deeper, and I may have squashed his paternal instincts or something. Probably not, he is only 3 1/2 and the topic may come up again!

So more of Colin's favorites: his favorite car is a motorcycle (oh, help me!), and his favorite food is grilled cheese. Whenever he talks about his favorites, it's "my favorite ---- in the whole world!"

Nathan & books

Nathan has finally started to let us read to him ... kinda. At least he doesn't close the book everytime we open it in front of him. I know at this point that we were reading a lot of books to Colin, and I know I shouldn't compare. But it's so much harder to read to the second child, especially when he is so stubborn like Nathan is sometimes. I mean Nathan has liked books for a long time, but only in the sense that he carries them around and look at them on his own. He never let us read to him until recently.

The books that Nathan is most interested in are the ones with real pictures in them, not cartoon pictures. Also books about trucks are his favorite. He will even go to bed with it and read it before going to sleep.

Books are really important to us and I really want to give Nathan everything that we gave Colin, which is impossible I know. So I am very excited that we are making some progress with the book thing!

Why?

In January I posted that Colin had reached the questions stage. Well, I didn't realize that the questions stage is multi-staged. Back then it was "What?" for everything. Now he has reached the "Why?" part of this stage. I'm not sure what is more trying, what or why?

Benefits of a babysitter

Tonight at Girl's Night Out (not necessarily Mom's Night Out because not everyone in this group is a mom), one of the attendees asked me, "How do you maintain your marriage with the whole kid-thing?" She is one of the mom's in the group. After giving a generic blah-blah-blah answer, I finally stumbled on my real answer. "We have lots of babysitters!"

This answer was very inspirational for her especially given that the last group of mom's that she asked this question said, "Marriage counseling, and couple's therapy". I guess babysitters are a lot cheaper than a therapist!

Now, I got to thinking about that answer, and remembered something that I've said many times way back when Colin was born. I said, that in order for me to be a good mom, I need time for me. For me, that is getting lots of babysitters so Bob and I can go out. We don't go out near as much as we did before babies, but we aim for once or twice a week! Sometimes it's only once a month, but that still helps.

Baby laughs

The other day, I was taking a walk with Nathan in the jogging stroller. The jogging stroller has a window in the sun shade so you can see him even when the sun shade is down. This also means he can see you! So near the end of the walk, Nathan looks up and sees me ... he giggles. So I make funny faces at him every time he looks up, he loves it and just laughs and laughs. There is nothing like the pure joy in a baby laugh. It's the greatest sound in the world, if you ask me. I mean it's impossible to not be affected by a baby laughing.

I remember sometime around two and a half years old when Colin lost his baby laugh. He was going to summer camp and started this evil laugh. I guess he must have picked it up from one of the kids. He doesn't do the evil laugh all the time now, but even his regular laugh isn't the same as a baby laugh.

Every once in a while, Colin will have a pure genuine baby laugh, and I love it! For now though, I'm going to cherish every one of Nathan's baby laughs!

April 15-20 trivia

This post is completely not related to the kids, but about stuff that happens between April 15-20. It's very bizarre, but this time frame is like the modern day Ides of March. All kinds of bad stuff. Here is a list:

April 15 (Tax Day)

1865 - Abraham Lincoln dies after being shot the previous evening by John Wilkes Booth.

1912 - The British passenger liner RMS Titanic sinks after hitting an iceberg in the North Atlantic, causing the deaths of about 1,503 people.

1989 - Hillsborough disaster: A human crush occurs at Hillsborough Stadium, a football stadium in Sheffield, resulting in 96 deaths.

April 16

2007 - Virginia Tech massacre, the deadliest mass shooting in American history, leaves 33 dead, including the killer.

April 18

1880 - A F4 tornado strikes Marshfield, Missouri, killing 99 people and injuring 100.

1906 - An earthquake with an estimated magnitude of 7.9, destroys much of San Francisco, California.

April 19

1993 - The 51-day siege of the Branch Davidian building outside Waco, Texas, USA, ends when a fire breaks out. Eighty-one people die.

1995 - Oklahoma City bombing: The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA, is bombed, killing 168.

April 20

1889 - Born: Adolf Hitler, Austrian-born dictator who ruled Nazi Germany during the Second World War (d. 1945)

1914 - Seventeen men, women, and children die in the Ludlow Massacre during a bitter Colorado coal-miner's strike.

1999 - Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold kill 12 students and a teacher before killing themselves in the Columbine High School massacre.

Sorry for such a downer post.

Multi-age classrooms

I just wanted to plug the multi-age classroom experience here. Maybe I'm biased, but Colin goes to a Montessori school where he has kids from 3-6 in the classroom.

With it getting warmer outside, we have been taking more walks and going to various playgrounds. On one walk, we ended up in another preschool playground. There were a couple of other older kids there, and I was appalled by how the kids were talking to Colin, like how he didn't talk very good for being three.

Anyway, on another walk, we went to Springvale Park playground (Colin's favorite!), and one of the older girls from his school was there. She was playing with a couple younger boys, younger than Colin. So Colin just joined in with their game. She was so good with them.

Could be just a coincidence, but I really feel that when kids are exposed to multi-age classrooms, they have more of an appreciation for what other kids, regardless of their age can contribute. So there is my plug.

My first impression of Colin

So now I have the birth story documented, I thought I would document my first impressions of Colin after he was born. Immediately following the birth, I was exhausted, relieved to be done with that part and just plain loopy from the whole experience that honestly, being moved by the sight of my first born did not happen. Sorry Colin. I remember Bob being moved to tears, and I was just, "hey, I did it, I finally had this baby". This is completely opposite to the way I react under normal circumstances. Usually I am so emotional, everytime we passed the hospital or when we took the hospital tour, I would tear-up and start crying.

So we were moved out of the labor room to the ... I can't remeber the name but next room that you stay in after the baby's born. And Colin made a little sound. I remember my heart just stopping. I think it was the first time I heard Colin's voice (he didn't protest much that I remember after he was born) and it was the sweetest little sound that I have ever heard. Sometimes when Colin is talking now (he is 3), it reminds me of that first time I heard his little voice.

The questions stage

Okay, Colin has now started the "questions stage". Which I really thought wouldn't be that bad. I mean, it would be cool to answer some to the basic questions that really make you think. And it's gotta be better than the "I want, I want, I want" stage!

So the questions have started and I gotta say, it's really driving me nuts. No one told me that the questions would be the same ones, over and over again. And questions are about stuff that I think he already knows! For example, "What is that", pointing to a banana.

Additionally, the "I want" stuff hasn't gone away completely either!

Talking southern

Bob and I have always been concerned about our kids having a southern accent. No offense to southerners but we are both from the Midwest (Nebraska), and I would really like my kids to sound like me. Soon after Colin started school, Bob noticed that Colin would say some one syllable words with two syllables. Like the word 'there' would be 'ther-air'. So we will remind Colin how to pronouce the word correctly ... umm I mean like us!

Recently I was talking to an Atlanta native, and she did not sound like she grew up here. She said that when she was about 13 and heard a video of her talking, she thought that she sounded pretty stupid (her words, not mine). So that day forward she made a consciense effort to not talk with a southern accent. There's hope after all. Get out the video recorder!!